Stefania our new daughter

I will try and express how I felt but we took a ton of pictures and I think they show more.  This was on our way to pick up Stefania.  Please forgive my chest hanging all out.  I had no idea I looked like a sexpot when I went to the orphanage.  I hope they weren't thinking, "look at this hoochie."  But then again, it's Cali.  We were so nervous.  My heart was in my stomach.  Angel had been antsy all week.  The girls couldn't contain their excitement.  Iliana told me, "Mami, I am going to cry when we get Stefania."

This is when they were presenting her to us.  The woman holding her was her primary caretaker at the orphanage.  She cried before and while she was handing her to me.  I feel so bad because I didn't even notice her.  I was too caught up in Stefania.  I was bawling and doing the ugly cry. 

Look at Iliana grinning right next to me.  She was so happy.  She said, "Mami! She is so cute!  I can't wait for Grandma and Grandpa to see her.  They are going to love her."

I know it's not that clear, but she stared at me from the moment they put her in my arms.  She looked at me very intently with no fear or hesitation.  It was a curiousity for her to see this boo-hooing lady holding her.  She never pulled away or cried.  She was just my baby.  This meant so much to me because with both of my other girls, I had c-sections, and I was never the first to hold them.  Angel held them both first and took care of them the first day while I recovered.  With Stefania, she was mine first.  For the first 5 minutes anyway because then she met her Dada or Papi.

And I lost her too. LOL.  She has joined her sisters in being a Daddy's girl.  If you know my husband Angel, then you know I married the Pied Piper.  You should see him with all of the children here at the house.  The kids flock to him.  He's just a big kid too.  All of the fathers here are watching and taking notes, which they should because my husband is the best father in the world.

On the car ride home I held Stefania in my arms.  (No carseats in Colombia. Iliana and Natalia are loving that.  Wait til they get home.)  The whole ride back, Iliana and Natalia would alternate and ask, "Mama you holding Stefania tight?"  Poor Stefania has three mothers.  Let me add that my older girls have been phenomenal.  No jealousy at all.  Sometimes they get a little babyish and want me to coddle them but considering they really are still babies, they are entitled.  Iliana will be 5 in June and Natalia is 2 and a half.  Stefania is 10 months but she is tiny.  She is so petite.  She is very strong and has a good appetite.  Another one like her father who can eat everything in sight and not gain weight.  She is adapting very well.  She likes her sisters, loves her father and knows I am the one to cry to. (Lucky me).  Oh I forgot to mention, the girls all had matching shirts courtesy of my eldest Iliana.  She insisted we get two big sisters shirts for Iliana and Natalia and Stefania's matching shirt says Little Sister.  I didn't get a clear picture of the three of them wearing the shirts but I think you can tell. 

Stefania's 1st nap with us.

Stefania's first meal with us.  Sorry we are posting all the firsts but like Angel said, we have all the firsts in one day as opposed to through the last 10 months.  I love this picture.  Actually, I love them all.  I love her.

And as a woman who has given birth and now in the process of adopting, the first time I held Stefania and had time alone with her was exactly the same as when I held Iliana and Natalia.  I truly felt my heart grow.  It is so crazy but it feels like your heart is multiplying inside of your body.  I boo-hooed and still as I write this, I cry.  It's amazing.

Me and my three daughters, Iliana, Natalia and Stefania.

Now granted this is a horrid picture of me but it's not about me.  This was the first bottle that Stefania took from me almost 24 hours after we picked her up.  She hated the bottle.  I had no idea what to do because both of my older girls were breastfed babies.  My inclination was to give her the boob but alas, there is no milk there anymore.  She ate fine from baby food but didn't want the bottle.  Finally she woke up hungry and caved.  We were so happy she drank from the bottle!  Also I am wearing the bata (in English it's nightgown?) that I wore in the hospital after giving birth to Iliana and Natalia.  I thought it fitting to wear for Stefania as well.  Stefania sleeps well.  Better than her sisters in fact.  We hope she can give them some pointers.

Today is Saturday and Angel took the big girls to the movies.  We are a few blocks from a nice mall so they went to see Rio in Spanish.  My girls are picking up Spanish.  The rest of the children at the hotel are getting adopted so some of them are Iliana's age.  They only speak Spanish for now, but I will tell you, kids are amazing.  They pick up language with a quickness.  One couple had a 2.5 year old girl for two weeks.  She already understands her parents who are speaking to her in Norwegian!  Spanish and Norwegian are about as distant in language structure as you can get.  Another little boy David, is Iliana's buddy.  He was adopted officially yesterday by his Norwegian parents.  They are so proud like any new parents and he is excited to have a forever home.  He loves his father like crazy.  The most beautiful thing is to see children be loved and treated the way all children should be.   They leave for Bogota and then for Norway next week.  We will miss them but we are so happy they are going home.  He too is already understanding Norwegian.  Here he is playing with Iliana.

I love Hotel Pension Stein.  It truly is a haven for adoptive families.  The parents all help one another, the kids play together all the time.  We all celebrate each other's victories.  Enrique Frei runs the place with such love and attentiveness.  The babies get their own meals!  Homemade baby soup! Delicious! Hopefully Stefania will get a little fatter with the food here.  I know Iliana will.  She told me today, "Mama they cook better than you here!"  That says a lot because before Iliana used to say I was the "best cooker in the world."  I met the cooks here.  She is right.  I ain't got nothing on them. 

Every few days we go on trips arranged by the hotel to get to know Cali.  We went to a waterpark on Wednesday.  It was so much fun.  I think I had the most fun.

I was holding Natalia in the picture.  I need to have a kid to make it look like I did it for her.  I loved this place.  There were no lines.  It was clean and the food was cheap.  How I love cheap food.  Angel and I are sure we will come back fatter.  And since we both did not get into the NYC Marathon, we are in trouble.

Sorry it took me so long to write.  I am now a mother of three and the only reason I could write this was because the girls are at the movies with Angel and Stefania is taking a nice, long morning nap.

One more of Stefania looking at the camera.  I noticed most of the pictures are of her profile.

Meeting before we get Stefania

I started writing a post for today but it was so emotional and private that I decided to save it for Stefania instead. 

We had a meeting at the orphanage today to find out Stefania's medical history, her habits, her clothing size, etc. We also got to hand in our donations and they were especially grateful for the maternity clothes.  I sure won't be needing them again, LOL.  It was a little hard to be at the same place where my daughter was in another section of the orphanage and not be able to see her but at the same time, I understand it makes it easier for us to process all the information we received.

I did find out yesterday that she had been in the hospital because there is a bad case of the flu going around with all the rain.  (We were fortunate to miss the rain here in Cali but there is flooding all over Colombia).  She developed pneumonia and was in the hospital.  All I thought of was my baby was in the hospital and I wasn't there for her.  They assured me she is much better and doing 100%.  I can't wait to hold her in my arms tomorrow.  I hope she doesn't reject us or get too sad.  But I doubt she will with the love she is going to get from her big sisters. 

They told me she has a temper.  We smiled and said she will fit right in. 

COLOMBIA!!!

Estamos en Colombia!  We arrived in Bogota at 5:00 am (6:00 NY time).  The flight was great, both girls slept right through.  We then had breakfast in the airport at Bogota after going through Customs.  Apparently you arrive in International Arrivals and from there you go through Customs which was painless.  From there we took a bus to the other terminal where the domestic flights were.  That was an adventure.  The bus drives right on the runway where planes are taxiing to and from the gate.  We have pictures which hopefully we can upload. 

You see although I am married to the biggest techie geek in the world, his wife has the power to destroy electronics with a single touch.  My laptop is not working.  It worked in Bogota and then after that it seems to have crashed.  Flip camera where I was going to record our adoption story is not working.  Won't turn on.  We are down to Angel's computer and my Iphone which is our camera/ video camera, etc.

But I digress.  We arrived in Cali after a short flight and immediately I love Cali.  First of all, the weather is way better than anything I have experienced in the last, oh, 6 months.  On the way to the hotel we saw three young men.  While we waited at the red light, they jumped on each other's shoulders and juggled.  That is one man on top of one man, on top of another man, juggling.  It was so impressive.  Iliana said, "they must work at the circus!"  We get to the hotel which is in a higher end neighborhood.  The hotel is beautiful, safe and a kids haven.  Right now there are eight families who are in the process of adopting.  Two of them got their children today and it is so amazing to see these families experience that love for the first time.  These are the first children for both families. 

It is a great environment because the kids all play together and share their toys.  It is so fascinating to see families come from all over the world to adopt.  There are two Norweigan couples who we have bonded with because we've been to Norway and have Norweigan friends. There are three French families, one Italian family, and one Dutch family.  We are the only family fluent in Spanish so at times we are the only ones besides the staff that understand what the children are saying and we translate.  The kids love our girls who speak English and a little Spanish (hopefully that will change on this trip).  All families speak English.

Ready to Go!

Our real journey begins tonight.  Bags packed (yes, we got another bag.  Angel got a big hiking backpack).  Checked for passports a thousand times and all of our paperwork for Stefania.  Angel told me today he never knew how much work it took to adopt.  Tons of paperwork.  If I weren't at home, I doubt I could do it.  I don't know how people do it while working full time.  And I am sure legal training has helped with keeping track of all the paperwork.

We are asked if we are going to adopt again and honestly, we don't know.  It is expensive, time consuming, etc. We never say never but right now, I want to focus on the one I am bringing home.

I am so grateful to everyone who has been so supportive and encouraging during the whole process.  It is great sharing this all with you.  Thank you Pam, who is house sitting and pet sitting.  I feel good knowing all is taken care of here at home.  Speaking of everyone helping out, my cousin's wife is Colombian from Barranquillas.  She has been excited since the beginning about us adopting from her country.  Last night she called me to tell me she arranged for us to stay with her cousin in Bogota!  This saves us some money and we are so grateful to have family in Colombia. (Besides Stefania.)  What a beautiful thing she did for us.  We are so excited to hang out with her cousin who is a fashion designer and lives in a ritzy condo in Bogota!

My next post will probably be from Colombia.  Yes, I am bringing my computer as is Angel.  He needs it for work and I need it to be connected to you all and to Skype of course!

One More Week

In one week, Stefania will be in our arms and we will be a family of five!  In the meantime, I have a gazillion things to pack.  Yesterday I got a few school supplies for the elementary school that they have at the orphanage where Stefania currently lives.  Iliana liked helping me get pens, pencils, erasers, crayons, highlighters, construction paper, a stapler for the teacher, pink pens (I am not sure how useful that will be in school but Iliana liked them).  We take it for granted how easy it is for us to get these items at the Dollar Store or Walmart, etc.  here in the States.  Not to say it is difficult in Colombia but I do know we can get things pretty cheap over here.  Plus, I am trying to teach my girls the importance of giving to others.  Iliana and Natalia also got some new clothes for some of the babies in the orphanage as well as socks for kids their age for school.  I also packed the gifts I got for the orphanage staff.  After talking with some of my friends from South America and one of the coordinators in Bogota, I am taking lotion from Bed, Bath and Beyond, a few picture frames, and little notebooks and notepads.  It is just a token of thanks.  I hope they like it.  The coordinator asked for paperbacks in English so that was easy.  We have a medium sized suitcase of donations. 

Now it is on to our clothes and toys for the month.  Yes, I am taking some toys because I will have three babies and I heard it has been raining non stop.  I would hate for bored girls in the hotel.  That leads to naughty girls who drive their parents crazy. Angel wants us to keep it to 2 suitcases for 5 people for a month.  HA! Clearly he is not packing.

Happy 10 month Birthday Stefania!

Today is my Stefania's 10 month birthday.  It will be the last birthday that we will not be together.  As of Friday, April 29 at 8:30 am, she will be in our custody forever!

Everything is coming together.  I think our biggest challenge may very well be Natalia, my willful two year old.  Iliana was the same age Natalia is now when Natalia was born.  Iliana was jealous for maybe two days and was over it.  She loves her baby sister and Iliana can not bear for Natalia to get in trouble even if Natalia just did something bad to her.  With this great example, Natalia can't wait to be a big sister.  She talks about "Fefania" all the time.  But the other day my sister came by with her grandson who is 5 months old.  We were thrilled to hold him and feed him.  Natalia wanted to give him milk all the time and was happy until... her Dada held the baby.  Suddenly Natalia became a little baby.  You see, Natalia is a true Daddy's girl.  She tells anyone who asks that she loves Dada more than Mama.  (She also loves to frustrate him but that is another story for another day).  It was a window into what may await us.  We'll find out soon enough.  I just hope Natalia doesn't regress too much and starts needing diapers again.  She's been potty trained for a couple of months now. 

Almost Ready

Today I took my girls with me to pick up the visas.  I was a bit surprised to see the long lines today but then I remembered it is Holy Week and everything will be closed from Wednesday on.  The Visas make our horrible pictures look great and I think it is because the background was reddish.  When I received it, I said, "Ay que lindo!"  The woman laughed because I am sure she didn't expect that to come out of my mouth. 

So now we have almost everything done and I am just packing our bags.  I am putting together a few gifts for the orphanage staff, and the workers who are going to help us with the adoption process.  We also have some baby and toddler girls clothes for the orphanage where Stefania has lived since she was born.  I am so tired because walking around NYC with two girls under 5 is a workout.  I don't think I will do that with three girls until they are over 5. 

Visas

Today I woke up before dawn, dressed my babies and dropped them off at their grandparents house, jumped on the subway and went to the Colombian Consulate in Manhattan to get our special visas. Everywhere I have read that the visas would be given same day, maybe next.  HA!  One week.  It is a scary thing to hand over your passport for a week.  (For me anyway).  I guess those other blogs I read didn't live in the NYC area where there are a lot of Colombians.  The place was not empty, that's for sure. 

And I love my Colombians.  The staff were so impeccably dressed.  When was the last time you saw a government worker here dressed in a power suit?  The woman helping me was so put together.  I felt like a slob.  I even thought I smelled a little like vomit.  (Natalia got carsick this morning).   Unlike my fellow Puerto Rican women who are just like Colombians, (and most Latinos for that matter), I am not into fashion and I don't get my hair "did".  I hear that Cali is like Miami.  I guess I should dress nice and do my hair for Colombia:)  My daughters will love Colombia.  Iliana and Natalia are into fashion and I am sure Stefania will be too...

It is not 3 weeks after all

Yesterday, (a Saturday), I received a call from the coordinator of the Colombia program at our adoption agency, Spence Chapin.  First of all, we never get calls on a Saturday so I knew it would be good news.  The Article 5 letter was being taken on Monday to the orphanage and they had given us a presentation date.  We meet and get our daughter on April 29!!!  We are so excited and so happy!  God is just opening the doors to allowing Stefania to be our daughter quicker than we hoped.  (Well I hoped and prayed).  Everyone at the agency says they can't believe how fast it is going.  Angel is in shock that we are traveling in about two weeks.  There is so much to do and yet it can't come fast enough.

Stefania, ya viene Mami y Papi!!!(e Iliana y Natalia tambien)!

3 Weeks

We found out today it may be three more weeks until we get our baby.  The Easter holiday closes all the courts in Colombia for a week so that is the reason for the delay.  I am at peace with it, although I would love a surprise call that says, "can you get on a plane tomorrow?" 

We are bringing gifts to the orphanage staff, social workers and physical therapists that worked with Stefania. The problem is I have no idea what to bring them.  It can be trinkets or candy, etc. but what should I get them?  They are in Cali which is a hot place, otherwise I would get them all pashminas.  Anyone have ideas?  I am open to suggestions.

Adoption Story

The two pictures are the ones we received after we accepted the referral.  I have another one when she was younger (around 6 months) but I can't upload them.  In these pictures she was about 8 months.  I have a new one of her now at 9 months and she looks so different.  I am trying to learn how to upload those but my computer genius husband is not home right now.

Her hair looks like she got a buzz cut because she did.  My Colombian friend told me that the custom is to shave off the baby's hair so it will grow in thick and beautiful.  She looks like she will have a lot of hair.  Fits right into the Cordero Perez household.  We are a hairy family.

When I was pregnant with Iliana and Natalia, I used to watch those Baby Story and Bringing Home Baby shows on TLC.  I always felt I could relate with the women in the show giving birth or adjusting to life at home with a newborn.  But my real favorite show was Adoption Story.  I loved it.  I felt the bravery of these parents adopting children from foster care or traveling to other countries to pick up their children.  I related to the other mothers on the other shows, but I wanted to be the mother on the Adoption Story.  After we decided to adopt, Angel watched them with me.  A few times they showed Chiquitines, the orphanage our daughter is currently at and we would try and see every shot or angle of the place knowing one day we would go there.  Soon we will be there and I hope to tape it all so I could share our own Adoption Story.  I plan on interviewing Angel and the girls and sharing it with you and hopefully inspiring others to adopt as well.

Waiting to travel

I am starting this blog mostly as way to remember this special time waiting for Stefania to join us.  We meaning, my husband Angel, our two biological daughters, Iliana, almost 5, and Natalia almost 2 and a half and our menagerie of pets.  (Okay it's only a dog, a cat and a box turtle).

For the last two years, we knew we would be adopting from Colombia.  We swore it was a boy and we had a nickname for him.  We called him Max and we prayed for him every night.  I prayed for his birth mother and whatever circumstances that were leading her to place her baby for adoption.  I would pick up little trinkets for a boy being that I had two girls, I loved thinking of blue for a change.  What's that saying, when we make plans, God laughs?  

In early February this year, I contacted our adoption agency and asked if they thought we would be traveling this year since we were making our plans for the year.  We were told it was highly unlikely.  We had at least another year wait to get our son.  We were approved to adopt an infant 0-3 from Chiquitines, an orphanage from Cali, Colombia, but the waiting list was long for infants and toddlers.  I was disappointed but decided to go forward with plans to return to work when the girls went to school.  I signed up to do a triathlon and another half marathon.  

Imagine my surprise when I received a call from our original social worker about a possible referral.  I asked why was it a "possible" referral?  "Well..."she replied, "it's a girl."  I laughed because many times I had joked with Angel, "you know we are going to end up with another girl, right?"  Angel and I had said if a special girl was presented to us, we would consider it.  Turns out, this baby, and she was a 7 month old baby, had been diagnosed with psycho motor retardation because of a leg that had uncontrollable spasms when she was 2 months old.  Because of this diagnosis, she had not been adopted yet.  She had been in the orphanage since she was born and was perfectly healthy except for these spasms in her left leg.  Angel and I discussed this referral after getting all of her history.  For days we went back and forth on whether we should accept the referral, not based on her health, which we were prepared for (which is why we got the call, we were open to some minor special health needs) but because in our hearts and minds, we were prepared for a boy.   We didn't want to say anything to anyone until we were sure but the more we talked, the more we realized this is a house of princesses.  We asked our eldest, a very wise 4 and a half going on 34 year old, what if she got a baby sister instead of a baby brother.  She said, "another baby sister? That would be awesome!"  And so with the blessing of our two daughters, we accepted the referral for another beautiful daughter.  Even her name blended in perfectly with our other daughters' names: Iliana, Natalia, Stefania.  She was meant to be in our family.

Since late February, we have been running around updating documents and psych reports, struggling with NJ's Notary Unit to get everything apostilled or authenticated for the adoption process.  Our I 800 was approved in a record 10 days and now we are just waiting for our Article 5 letter so we can travel to Colombia to pick up our new princess. 

Today we received some new pictures and development information since our doctor had asked for it.  She is crawling, sits up on her own, and says "Tata".  (She is saving Mama for me:)  She does have a lazy eye but that is nothing.  She is growing beautifully.  Iliana and Natalia were so excited to see her picture and said their baby sister is "sooooo cute."  Angel and I agree.